I'm a writer from New Jersey, now living in Chicago. Journalist/production manager for a news site, aspiring to become an author of fantasy novels. In the meantime, I'm blogging.

I like nature, black metal, the occult, cats, and good wine.


Saturday, December 10, 2016

Everything is changing for the better

Well, it’s been a while since I’ve put anything new on here, hasn’t it?

My life has changed in several ways, all of them good. I’m now happily taken; I have an amazing girlfriend, Dina (Shelley on Facebook), who really cares, and we have this very awesome connection. Literally when she came fully into my life, my depression went out the window, and I actually felt like there was someone in this world who was (and is) there for me. I never saw this coming, but I’m glad it did.

I'm also feeling motivated to, as I said in one of my own videos, be the best version of myself. I’m feeling this renewal of energy and this return to, I suppose, my old self. And I don’t mean “old self” as in I’m regressing to how I once was. What I mean is that I’ve felt this hole inside me, and this lack of direction, for years. I’m not sure when it started, or what caused it, but I feel like that’s fading away now. Instead, I’m in a generally great mood and I feel a definite sense of purpose.

Oh, you’ve heard of this thing called winter, right? Yeah, it’s fucking here, guys. It’s cold and windy outside, something that everyone knows I hate. I mean, I’m actually making progress, because I don’t actually mind when it’s chilly anymore. Like, I can take the autumn, that’s fine. But when it starts snowing and there’s ice on the sidewalks, I’m not going to be thrilled, I can tell you that.

But back to the topic of change: I’m also getting ahead with writing my book, where before I had serious writer’s block (part of the reason I didn’t update this site for so long). I always like to write chronologically. In other words, I don’t skip ahead like some authors and write different parts of the book, and then go back and write parts that came before those, etc. I like to go chapter by chapter, front to back. But I have become okay with skipping a couple of chapters ahead. So, if I’m struggling with Chapter 11, I can skip to Chapter 12 and just write that, and it doesn’t throw me off. I’ve learned to do that, and then just come back to the chapter I was having trouble with.

I’m also losing weight. I talk pretty often about changing up my diet, but it never quite sticks. It’s something that I sort of wish I was more into doing, but when it comes down to it, I’m way too comfortable with what I normally eat. But what I’ve done now is not so much change the types of food that I eat - just the amount. I’ve cut out snacks, because it’s just shitty food and it’s empty calories, and I didn’t even enjoy eating snacks, it was just a habit. And I just have smaller meals now. I’ve been able to get away with keeping energy drinks (though I have cut back on them), and alcohol (which I love, and haven’t cut back on at all). But yeah. Two weeks ago I was 179. Now, as of today, I’m 165. Maybe that doesn’t seem like much to some people, but to me, that’s cool.
Fuck.
I actually really like how I look, but I also have no problem recognizing flaws in myself, or just areas that I would like to improve. I wanted to drop a little weight, so that’s what I’m doing.

I’ve seen a couple of new movies. Doctor Strange was pretty cool. And I saw Bad Santa 2 with my girlfriend. Good movie, but the first one was way better. If you’re into trashy, asshole comedy that’s actually funny, I recommend seeing that. It’s definitely a better holiday movie than most of the shit I see. 

I’m not really looking forward to that new Star Wars movie, Rogue One. If you don’t know, it’s a spinoff of the main series; a prequel to the original trilogy. It involves the rebels who stole the plans to the Death Star. It seems like kind of a dull storyline to center a film around, and I would be more interested if they actually did an original story. Plus, I’m not a hardcore Star Wars fan. I definitely like it, but not to the point where it’s going to bother me if I don’t see this one.

So despite all this progress, I actually haven’t done much of anything today! I kind of just sat around. I mean, I went out to the store, so that’s something! But other than that...I’ve mostly just been talking to Dina, which I really like doing anyway (obviously). Oh, and I’ve written this blog post, so that must count for something, too.

Back in Black Blake
What are my plans for tonight? Video chatting with my girlfriend, drinking (peach vodka, then beer), maybe listening to music at some point. That’s about it. Just trying to make the weekend stretch and to enjoy it. I’ve talked a lot about living my life to the fullest - well, now I’m actually doing it.

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